Sibling Rivalry

They say that if you show a chimpanzee a mirror it will attack its own reflection. Regardless of the accuracy of this statement its a very good metaphor for my relationship with my brother. Our politics are different, our music and film tastes are so far apart its fair to say if he likes it I hate it - and vice-versa. He's quiet and introverted, I'm writing a blog about myself for crying out loud. We have argued on pretty much any topic you care to name. He stabbed me in the eye with a comb, I knocked him out with a coffee cup. He shot me in the arse with an air rifle. I shot myself in the leg with an air rifle (I'm a terrible shot). So it comes as no surprise that my Kids get on like a house on fire. Or at least, that level of violence is generally involved.

The other day I got home from work and stood patiently at the front door as the Kids battled each other to open the front door for each other. Tonight the Boy pushed the Girl into a wall so he could be the one to turn the telly off. There was nearly a drowning at bath time when they argued about who was coming out first.

There's a clear division in the type of violence involved between them. The Girl prefers the direct approach. Whilst sitting in a go-kart in the back garden the Boy shouted at her that it was his go. Her response was to wait until he ran towards her to drag her out and carefully, and very precisely, punched him in his "gentleman's area." "So what?" you might ask. She was eighteen months old. That's what.

The Boy is more into psychological warfare.

"Ha ha! The Girl's got chickenpox!"
"You had chickenpox last week, Boy!"
"Yeah, but it wasn't funny when I had it."

Fortunately, there are comic aspects to their battles.

"Eyew! You've done a poo, Girl!"
"I have NOT done a poo. It was a blow off, actually."


To which the Girl's response two days later was

"I done a poo!"
"Well done!"
"I called it 'Boy'"

However most of the time, its just all out violence. Such as the moment whilst doing the washing up you hear

*CRASH*
"AHA! I'M THE DADDY NOW!"

Or, whilst you're running the bath

"BOING!"
*THUD*
"Arrgh! The Girl's sitting on my head."

Like everything with my Kids, I've discovered its about going with the flow, and making things work for you. Which is why I've taken to setting the Girl on the Boy.

"Boy... BOY! Come back here! Girl! Get him"
*WHACK!*
"Arrrgh! My bum!"

Don't believe me? Think I'm making it up?

I'm not.