At least that's what the Girl would have you believe. She's telling me this as she takes my sock off and put's the Wife's sequinned flip flop on my foot.
My first blog entry, so some introductions. I am the bewildered father of the Girl (3) and the Boy (5). Husband of The Wife ( er... Maybe not...). A nuclear family - unstable and prone to meltdown when wet. We used to have lives of our own. Now we belong to our kids
I'm now a doggie. And apparently I have knickers on. Or so I'm told.
The Boy came first, hence the title, followed by two years of learning to speak and then a non stop torrent of language best demonstrated by the following quote;
"Ha ha! I'm hiding under the table and you can't find me!"
Then came the Girl, all ginger curls and eyes that look a bit like she's got red eye from a camera flash. The Girls specialist subjects are; being cute and; being angry. This is no exaggeration, she once threw a tantrum so big the whole of Southwold ground to a halt. She bit the Wife's ankle that day. I'm informed I shouldn't find that funny.
Alternatively there was the time I was foolish enough to leave the kids in the back garden for five minutes whilst I allowed myself the luxury of a shit. I walked back out into the garden to find the Boy standing on our trampoline, trousers at half mast, peeing into next door's herbaceous border, whilst the Girl had the cat (Boris) in a head lock, feeding him with a spoon. Sadly for Boris, she was feeding the wrong end of him. Very hard to remove a spoon a cat's arse when all it wants to do is run in circles.
So this is about my family.
Me? The one thing you need to know about me is that I hate flip flops.
My first blog entry, so some introductions. I am the bewildered father of the Girl (3) and the Boy (5). Husband of The Wife ( er... Maybe not...). A nuclear family - unstable and prone to meltdown when wet. We used to have lives of our own. Now we belong to our kids
I'm now a doggie. And apparently I have knickers on. Or so I'm told.
The Boy came first, hence the title, followed by two years of learning to speak and then a non stop torrent of language best demonstrated by the following quote;
"Ha ha! I'm hiding under the table and you can't find me!"
Then came the Girl, all ginger curls and eyes that look a bit like she's got red eye from a camera flash. The Girls specialist subjects are; being cute and; being angry. This is no exaggeration, she once threw a tantrum so big the whole of Southwold ground to a halt. She bit the Wife's ankle that day. I'm informed I shouldn't find that funny.
Alternatively there was the time I was foolish enough to leave the kids in the back garden for five minutes whilst I allowed myself the luxury of a shit. I walked back out into the garden to find the Boy standing on our trampoline, trousers at half mast, peeing into next door's herbaceous border, whilst the Girl had the cat (Boris) in a head lock, feeding him with a spoon. Sadly for Boris, she was feeding the wrong end of him. Very hard to remove a spoon a cat's arse when all it wants to do is run in circles.
So this is about my family.
Me? The one thing you need to know about me is that I hate flip flops.
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Hello, feel free to comment - whether its praise or criticism.
I will ignore the criticism though.