Boys Versus Girls

This evening when I got the Girl out of the bath (after the normal, ask, ask, ask nicely, threaten, shout extravaganza) she looked me square in the eye and in a no-nonsense tone said;

"Winkle."

What she's pointing out here, in her own individual way, is that boys and girls aren't the same. Now I know you know that (or some of this is going to be a BIG shock) but the Girl is only just getting her head around this. Up until recently she insisted she was a boy, to the point the eyes were poked and faces scratched should anyone be foolish to contradict her. She was quite determined and it lasted about eighteen months. That phase has now almost passed, and now she thinks she's a cat. Its all part of a learning journey for her, and bless her it must be confusing. The Boy still can't always be relied on to get things right

"I've got a dad. He's called mum."

But then thinking that I'm a woman is an ongoing trend with him. I've mentioned before about "worming" Bill (see Ess Eee Ex), or only ever comparing me with female characters in programmes. Even when he's saying something he imagines can't be misconstrued he doesn't quite get it right

"Does your friend Steve make you happy?"

"I er... well... Its not like we take windy walks together, Boy."

"You're weird, dad."

A friend of mine once said that boys are physically exhausting, and girls are mentally exhausting, which I agree with. I also agree with it the other way round. The Boy is equally good at manipulation, the Girl is equally rumbunctious. Since the gender divide is so blurred, and since the Girl has idol worshipped the Boy since she was born its natural that she feels left out of being a boy. To be honest, when they're toddlers the only differences are anatomical. The Girl was born when the Boy was about two, so for two years I'd got used to changing nappies on a boy. Changing nappies on a girl is a whole new experience. Apart from the fact that, as a man, I'm not sure what all the bits are, the cleaning process is considerably different.Which is why she'll say things like

"I've got a winkle on the inside!"

As I say, we've only recently come out of the other side of the Girl thinking she's a boy. However there's a psychological phenomenon known as an "extinction burst" (see, you're learning something!) which means a behaviour shows a dramatic increase shortly before it stops. This explains why we had the comment above tonight, and only yesterday this - which I will leave you on.

"Daddy, what are these things behind my winkle?"

"They're, uh, your nuts, Boy."

"Oh."

The Girl, at this point, looked between her legs, looked baffled and said

"I haven't got any nuts."

"No darling. Girls don't have nuts. Only boys."

"Do you have nuts?"

"Er. Yes."

"Can't I see-"

"NO!"