Honesty is the worst policy

Oh yeah, honesty - we're all about keeping our kids honest aren't we? "Don't tell lies" we tell them, before feigning amazement at the rorschach inkblot test masquerading as a picture of a dog they wave in front of your face. It seems like such a good idea and then

"Lets play football! Not you, nan. You're rubbish."

Or

"There's a man at school just like you except he's really funny."

I fully encourage my children to lie. Quite frankly I'm don't want to hear people's honest opinions of me because I have a nagging doubt they don't quite tie in with the perception I have of myself (witty, urbane, clever, well dressed, sane). Not that it matters, no matter what we say, we always end up getting the truth. And its quite unpleasant. I'll admit, it does occasionally cut through some BS. For instance when the Wife and I were getting dressed to go out to a wedding reception the Boy, innocent of the complex social politics that revolve around the whole "shall I wear this dress" question, went with his gut feeling.

"If you wear that, people will laugh at you."

This whilst he was wearing a spiderman costume with a pair of fairy wings. The Wife pulled that face that made it clear that she was only pretending to laugh it off whilst considering the pros and cons of giving him a "time out" in the boot of the car. The Girl is rather more sweet about it

"What did you do at gymnastics?"
"Running."
"And...?"
"Falling off things."
"And...?"
"Crying."

Whilst the Boy has a certain savagery about his honesty.

"Are you having fun with Lenny, Boy?"
(Angrily) "I'd have fun if I punched him in the head and pushed him in a ditch."

Particularly if he thinks it might freak me out. Such as when he got chicken pox and proudly told anyone who would listen

"I've got spots on my winkle!"

And even when he's got the wrong end of the stick, he can still make me look like a fool.

"Girl, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet."
"WHAT? She hasn't got any other feet?!"

And sometimes he can cut straight to the heart of the matter without even realising it.

"Where have grandma and Phill gone?"
"They've gone on holiday."
"So they can argue?"
"Er... actually, you're probably right about that..."

The Kids, as with all kids, are keen observers of psychology and anthropology. I shall illustrate my point with the Boy's final quote of the post. Some people take a moment or two to get this. See how you do.

"Daddy, why did you call that spider Jesus?"