Love Me Do

Bing Crosby once told a story of the day his son's hamster died. To help his son come to terms with the demise of his pet he helped him make a beautiful coffin from a shoebox, repleat with satin lining and handles. When it was finally finished they put the hamster into it and, as they were closing the lid the hamster suddenly stirred, stood up and sniffed about. Crosby and his son looked at each other for a long moment until his son said; "Let's bury it anyway."

Now, our Girl loves her cat. I mean, ignoring the time she pushed a spoon up its bum. Aside from that, she's always giving it cuddles and telling it, rather oddly, to "Calm down". Generally when its asleep. Its not like  Boris (our cat) is particularly stressed. Its so laid back its more like a door stop than a cat. Regardless, the Girl loves Boris. Which is why the Wife was somewhat taken aback by the following conversation in the car. 

"Where's Sidney cat? Did he die? Did he?"
"Yes. He died because he was very old."
"Is Boris cat old?"
"No, don't worry. He won't die for a lo-"
(Interrupting) "When he dies can we get a kitten?"

Kids are honest, you see. They say what they think. And it turns out they're heartless little bastards. Earlier this week Uncle Will and Auntie Sarah brought our new niece round in her pram. We were in the back garden and so, not getting a response from our front door, they went to our back garden gate where they encountered the Boy blowing bubbles on the back step. When they asked him to let them in he replied

"When I've finished blowing bubbles."

And very deliberately blew bubbles all over them for five minutes before we realised what was going on and rescued them. This level of "affection" isn't reserved for uncles and aunts. Tonight the Boy said

"I love mum the most."

And followed this up with

"Except for dad. I love him more."

Typically this alienated the pair of us. Part of me wanted to focus all my affection on the Girl which lasted right up until she insisted on dragging me up to the toilet and shoving her knickers in my face saying

"No poo!"

And then, very loudly

"SNIFF MY KNICKERS!"

We have very thin walls in our house. Next door don't get eye contact with us anymore.